Originally posted to Facebook October 17, 2014.
Lately I’ve been pondering some questions I would ask myself and invite others to ask them of themselves.If I would answer ‘yes’ to the following question, “Am I in a relationship with other believers that involves some form of accountability?”, then these follow-up questions to myself would follow:
- In all the aspects of my life in which I am ostensibly transparent, is there any activity or aspect which I have compartmentalized away and either consciously or unconsciously in order to make certain that it never gets exposed, discussed or explored, by not bringing it up or by steering the conversation in a different direction when someone else brings it up? Might I even go so far as to confess other areas of weakness both to show a sincere desire for accountability and to direct attention away from my secret activity? Do I have a dark hidden corner?
If the answer to #1 was yes, why do I do it? Am I:
- Ashamed or embarrassed?
- Fairly certain that I know what their response would be and that they might question whether it was wise, or Godly, or somehow at odds with the kind of relationship with God that I want and profess to want to have?
- Completely certain that I know what their response would be because it’s come up before and perhaps I even agreed at the time (Do I not now?) that it was unwise or unGodly or somehow at odds with who I claim to (want to) be in God?
- Finally, if the answer to #2 matched any of the possible reasons, or even reasons that weren’t suggested, how important really, is that activity or aspect, and do I really want to keep possession of that activity or aspect?
I say finally, but it leads me to ponder something Col. Jimmie Coy asked us about at the Valley View Community Church 2014 Men’s Retreat; Does that ‘thing’ qualify as an ABOB, A Bowl of Beans, a bowl of lentil stew which I desire so very strongly that I am willing to trade away my entire birthright, as did Esau, in exchange for gaining or keeping. Further, when I’ve reached the bottom dregs of that bowl, will I still agree with the logic and reasoning that led to my decision? Will I find lasting satisfaction that replaces the value of my birthright, or will I find lasting remorse over that which I forsook?From Jimmie Coy: “ABOB, A Bowl Of Beans…is anything that will separate you from your Spiritual eternal birthright. ABOB calls to each of us but ultimately it is what separates us from our greatest treasure. As Desmond Doss would say, ‘If we miss heaven, we have missed everything.’ IC, jdc”
Follow-up article: Are you having a secret sordid affair… with money?