John is close to the end of his Journey; a journey physical, mental, and spiritual. All the experiences, refinements, inputs and guidance; good, bad, evil, senseless, sound, are culminating into a true realization of the nature and person of “The Landlord” and his relationship to Him. It finally takes just one more bit of input, a tiny catalyst of truth for it to crystallize into true, profound, and complete knowledge.
He had been willing to trust God to aid him when he cried out for help, but not to trust Him enough to surrender control.
How like that we all are. We cannot have it both ways.
‘I suppose you have found me out. Perhaps I did not fully mean to keep them — not all — or not all the time. And yet, in a way, I think I did. It is like a thorn in your finger, sir. You know when you set about taking it out yourself — you mean to get it out — you know it will hurt — and it does hurt — but somehow it is not very serious business — well, I suppose, because you feel that you always could stop if it was very bad. Not that you intend to stop. But it is a very different thing to hold your hand out to a surgeon to be hurt as much as he thinks fit. And at his speed.’
I need to make this gel and cohere in my own life and figure out how to move forward positively in such a way as to have it always affect my thinking and doing. This applies to so many of my own personal struggles. I am determined to rely on my own gumption and understanding to overcome my vices and addictions because I don’t want to give over control to the surgeon. I want to retain the ability to stop if I chose. I know friends in their same own lonely, lamely listing coracle in an endless sea.
The portion If its help is not a metaphor, neither are its commands., serves as absolute conviction of prosperity gospel and the social gospel I’ve heard preached in post-modern churches. You cannot preach a wonderful happy warm-fuzzy God who wants you to have joy and peace and happiness w/o also acknowledging that this selfsame God has also made requirements of us. Imperatives we cannot ignore. We cannot have it both ways.
Originally posted to Facebook July 27, 2011 at 3:43pm